Lesson: Never say never!

This submissive has just learnt this lesson yet again - never say never.

Last night just before I left Sir in His den and went to bed I had rolled off the couch onto the floor on my knees, my intention  was then to get up and say good night. I was naked, it was a warm evening and I was relaxed and sleepy.

Sir saw an opportunity and instructed me to stay where I was, on my knees and bent over the edge of the couch. I heard Him rustling and glanced sideways to the bench and then realised what He had picked up. The crop was something He used on a former sub and something I had said was not me nor likely to be me, I admit to a feeling in the pit of my stomach of anxiety and fear. This was a direction I had felt sure was not one I wanted to head in.

The first touch on my ass cheek surprised me although I knew it was coming, the second took my breath away as He was harder in wielding it than the first. Time and time again I felt the bite of the crop, my cheek warming and reddening to Sir's delight. I could hear the smile in His voice as He said "I thought you didn't want this? It seems you've changed your mind" The moistness between my legs, the dreamy space I found myself in and the delight at pleasing Him gave me a warm glow as I kissed him goodnight and headed to my bed. It seems yet another new direction for the butterfly and her Sir

Blissfully Bound

Rope has long held a fascination for me, in truth I think it's been a fascination before I understood why just like blindfolds. Since learning this Sir has been slowly bringing elements of rope into our play and recently it has a reaction that surprised us both.

I stood naked as directed, blindfold in place, awaiting his instruction. I heard the lid of the toy box lift , a sound which always intrigues me and gets my mind buzzing, never knowing what will appear. He took hold of my left wrist and began to wind and tie rope around it, then draped it across my ass as he made his way to the other side and that's when i reacted. The feel of the rope across my skin caused an instant response deep inside of me and I felt the twinge of orgasm which made me gasp. I had become instantly wet and aroused by the simple touch of rope. I still feel a twinge and tingle as I think and write about this and it happened a few weeks ago.

What is it about rope? I think with most things for me it's about restraint. I love being restrained and to feel restrained. I love my hair begin pulled tight, forcing me into submission or not allowing me to move. I love it when Sir restrains me with his body. I also love the feel of other things restraining me like cuffs and rope and clingfilm, to make me at His mercy and subject to his will.

To the point....

So....in September I said i was coming back to write...but that didn't happen. Real life sucks some times!

But I'm here now with a few new experiences under my belt since then - where do I begin?

Not at the beginning but instead with the most recent...a very pointed tale to tell ;)

Sir has long hinted at wanting to try needles and up until a few months ago i was adamant they weren't for me. Gradually however I started coming around - Sir, has the patience of a saint when he wants to and esp when he knows i will come round to his way of thinking given the right persuasion ;)

We purchased some a month ago and they have been lying there, taunting me in all their pointed ended glory, Sir deliberately delaying their introduction - because he could!.Meanwhile they kept coming up in discussion and I found myself drawn more and more to images of them on fetlife, showing them to Sir and practically talking myself into it. A test one of two a week ago confirmed that I was intrigued.

Then 2 nights ago the scene was set, I lay blindfolded and cuffed awaiting His touch. The smell of rubbing alcohol as he cleaned my skin, it's pungent odor filled my nostrils and started me tingling in anticipation. The tip uncapped near my ear and I heard the pop as the needle was released, holding my breath as I awaited it's entry into my skin. One by one, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly he pushed the needles in, circling my breast. My mind raced, sub space engulfed me, it's dark depths embracing me as i fell ever deeper within it's grasp. Orgasms rolled thru my body as he played my clit like a finely tuned instrument, one hand touching the needles, their sting reminding me of their presence.

My bodies reactions to their removal surprised me as I orgasmed strongly with each removal, needles it seems are definitely a hit with me!

Next morning I surveyed his handiwork, the small network of marks only obvious if you knew what you were looking for but I could see them and they make me smile. Now they have faded and I commented to Sir that I might need some more to replace them, He just smiled.

the Butterfly returns

Real life has a way of getting in the way!

Time to get back to exploring and expressing myself again....

More to come

Reconnecting

When I began this blog of my D/s journey I was hoping to be posting more often but the realities of "Real Life" got in the way a little and things have been very disconnected around here for some time. I think they are beginning to slowly improve and get back on track. I do feel a bit like it was 3 steps forward and 2 back so it's almost like rewinding and starting again a bit further back down the track again....

Sat night, no children home for the night again and the promise of something (the txt informing me it was Toy Time Tonight that I received in the afternoon while at my Mothers was indication of that - not easy to blush and giggle in front of your Mother and try to explain it away as something else!)

So, we reconnected and most definately in a way that I needed it at the moment. To connect emotionally and physically. When the emotional meets the physical in the right time and place and in the right balance the effect can be mindblowing and indeed it was.  They were among the most powerful orgasms I have had, the slow build up as the fires were stoked then the almighty powerful release like a dam bursting it's banks. The waves swept over me, moving thru my body engulfing me. I was lost, mind and body one. I became my orgasm, again and again the feelings rippled thru my body. Unable to speak, the noise that escaped my lips was primal, a release that echoed my body. 

There was little about that night that was D/s apart from the feeling of handing over myself to him, it did begin with some delicious back scratching and a hint of passion in a deep intense kiss.

I needed that reconnection, a piece of my soul was crying out for it. Some missing pieces we can choose to live without , others are deal breakers and part of the essential must haves of our soul, our very essence. D/s and the blend of emotional, physical connection are part of the pieces I need to balance myself. I have been feeling so very much out of kilter and knocked off my core centre point, I feel like I got back a little closer to my inner balance on Sat night.

Words

Se⋅duc⋅tion 

1.	an act or instance of seducing, esp. sexually.

2.	the condition of being seduced.

3.	a means of seducing; enticement; temptation.

I love words. I write so of course I love words and the way you can play with them, express with them and invite with them.

I particulary love the word "seduction" or "to seduce", it conjours up all sorts of things for me.

I love being seduced, the connection of the mind into sexuality. I mean afterall it is the biggest sex organ in reality and the most important, especially in women. The slow dance of seduction, the enticement, the temptation. The promise of more to come, be it subtle or unsubtle seduction.

I also like the turn the tables and become the seducer rather than the seduced. Leading the dance can be fun as well. Leading doesn't lend itself to being a sub so I get little opportunity to do that and I admit I miss it, I had it in a secondary relationship once it it was an interesting dynamic.

Am still trying to figure out how and where seduction fits into BDSM in the traditional sense, a lot of our BDSM is certainly about the midn and mind sex and interplay but is not what I would consider traditional seduction.

On another note....I think things are getting back on track and this sub looks forward to continuing her exploration

Observations and update

Not a lot to report around here. Sir has been unwell on and off for weeks and neither of us have been in the head space for intense BDSM activity. I've had a few things on my mind and been a bit low as well so we have been taking things very quietly, strange how things moves in ebbs and flows.  I remember on stage last year where we had sex every day for a month and up to 3 times  day, sometimes just "plain" sex (although even plain for us is pretty out there) and other times rough, intense sessions.

This week we did manage to get in the head space and a simple cuddle turned into some pretty intense sex.

Interesting observations. I think back over the last 5 years when i left my ex husband and began to embark on this journey of self discovery. If you'd told me then that I'd participate in, like and even crave the things I do now I would have called you crazy. Lately it's biting, when Sir bites my ass or my back it sends my head spinning into sub space.